What do you get when God says no?
 What do you get when cold winds blow?
What do you get when hope seems low?
   I don’t know.

What do you get when dreams don’t glow?
 What do you get when answers come slow?
What do you get when you must let go?
   I don’t know.

What do you get when love doesn’t grow?
 What do you get when heaven sends snow?
What do you get when blessings don’t flow?
   I don’t know.

But for all the things that I don’t know
 Of this earthly struggles here below,
One thing’s certain: God runs the show.
   That I know!

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I was having one of those days.  You know, the kind that is exhausting of soul.  Life just seemed hard and unfair.  No, it was more than that.  It was frustrating and confusing and left me wondering why this, why me, why now?  This was not the first of such days nor will it be the last.  What is more, I am not alone in my wonderings.  I am fully aware that passing through hard times is part of this mortal experience.  Further, I am aware that many times, in fact most times, the larger picture will, at least for the moment, be hidden from view.  And so we act and react with faith.  That too is part of the plan.  Still, this knowledge doesn’t necessarily make it any easier in our moment of trial. 

So, like I said, it was one of those days.  In my frustration, I wrote the first several lines of this poem and then decided that I didn’t know the answer.  Feeling even more frustrated, I went to bed.  As I was trying to sleep, more phrases came to mind and I flipped the light on to jot them down, which did not help my melancholy mood.  Nor was not getting the necessary sleep going to help my attitude tomorrow, I thought bitterly.  In my irritated mood, I was determined to leave the poem fading off with the words “I don’t know” because, in all truth, I don’t know. 

Thankfully, a few days have passed since then.  I was sitting here typing this up when I got to the last “I don’t know,” and thought, “Wow, that is kind of depressing!”  Then the thought came, “Yes, but you do know WHO runs the show.”  With that thought, I wrote the last stanza.  While there are many things I don’t know, I do know that God is in charge.  I have faith that he loves me and you and wants the best for us both.  For all the trials and testing and evil and humiliation and sorrows that come with this life, He is ultimately in control.  He has a plan.  He knows how and who and what and where and when and why.  He can see the end.  That I can hang onto, that I can hope in, that I can trust.

That I know.

Written: August, 2016